Tuesday 13th March - no shows

Sometimes it feels like the comedy ladder has no rungs on it. You just get given 2 heavy poles and have to figure out how to make and join on some rungs to climb upwards! Last weekend was meant to be a busy weekend of gigs, starting with a warm up charity fundraising gig in a music club in Dunfermline on the Friday night, followed by 3 shows at the Glasgow Comedy Festival on the Saturday and Sunday. As it turned out there were probably 3 times as many people at the Dunfermline gig than at all of the Festival gigs combined.

My Festival began with a late showcase show in Yesbar at 23:15 on the Saturday night. The previous show was over-running and was absolutely jam packed. For our show afterwards, 8 people turned up. It was a good laugh, but there's always going to be a different dynamic in a pretty empty room. I then returned to Glasgow on the Sunday afternoon for my solo show. I turned up at the venue to find just a few were in for the previous show, and one person was in the process of walking out. I set everything up for my own show, and no-one turned up. I was a little disappointed that even the pre-sales didn't show up. In Leicester, just four weeks previously and also on a Sunday afternoon, I had had nearly 40 show up. I hadn't realised when I took the Glasgow booking it was going to be Mother's Day, an old firm derby would be on, as well as the rugby internationals, so I had to accept I was up against some tough competition.

Then I had organised a showcase show at 19:15 in another venue. I wasn't due to perform but one act had pulled out after being involved in a car accident the previous evening (not too seriously), so I was happy to compere instead. With my show being cancelled I found myself with some unexpected extra time so waited around in the car listening to the radio and snacking. When it was time to go to the venue I found the place was dead and it was obvious no-one was going to turn up there either. This was a showcase show so it wasn't just me people didn't want to see! Even one of the acts failed to appear.

Now feeling deflated and a little desperate, I tried to salvage something by securing a spot in the Sunday evening show back in Yesbar after being told by someone that they were looking for more acts, but when I enquired about it I was told they were now full (and the show might not even have gone ahead as ticket sales were so poor).

Talking of the comedy ladder being like poles, the Dunfermline venue is a music club and has a prominently placed silver pole from ceiling to floor. The gig went well and there was no sign of the way the weekend was going to go - otherwise I might have been tempted to start off an alternative career as a dancer.